Foregoing Forgiving

Today’s readings: Ps 40, 54; Josh 9:22-10:15; Rom 15:14-24; Matt 27:1-10

“[W]oe to that one by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that one not to have been born.” (Matt 26:24).At the last supper Jesus spoke these words, clearly in reference to the impending betrayal by Judas. When we hear someone say, “So-and-so will wish he’d never been born!” we can generally assume it accompanies a desire for revenge. Should we make the same assumption in this case? If we do, we are declaring Judas as the one person Jesus would refuse to forgive. As our ultimate example of compassion and mercy, does it seem more likely that Jesus’ words were about vengeance, or about profound sadness for his friend’s fate?

Other than the betrayal itself, perhaps Judas’ biggest mistake was asking for forgiveness from no one but the very religious leaders who set him on his wicked purpose. Not knowing Jesus would rise again in three days, he saw no opportunity to ask Jesus directly. Despite his repentance, Judas accepted the idea he was beyond redemption, and his path to suicide was set. In the most immediate possible sense, he was unable to know the forgiveness of Christ.

Knowing the character of Jesus as revealed in the Gospels, how do we imagine he would have responded if Judas had lived long enough to ask forgiveness of him? We’ll never know, because Judas settled for the verdict of the chief priests. There’s a valuable lesson for us in this tragic decision. Sometimes when we do terrible things, our guilt wants us to believe we have committed the one unforgivable sin in all the world. We accept the verdict of our own religious leaders, or of family members, or of our own hearts. We decide we are beyond redemption, and force ourselves onto a path that validates that decision. We believe we are not worthy to even ask for forgiveness. We go through the motions of church and life and love, all the while feeling nothing but filthy and hollow. But what if we did dare to ask Christ to forgive us? More unthinkable yet, what if he forgave us? Then we might have no choice but to forgive ourselves.

What an overblown opinion we would have of ourselves to say to Christ, “My sin is greater than your love and mercy.” We should never refuse to accept Christ’s forgiveness because we are unwilling to forgive ourselves. Sometimes the only thing really standing between Christ and us… is us.

Comfort: It is never too late to experience God’s forgiveness.

Challenge: On one side of a sheet of paper, write down things you have trouble forgiving yourself for. On the other side write “God forgives me.” Burn the paper while offering a prayer of thanks.

Prayer: God of all Creation, thank you for your endless mercy.

Evening reading: Ps 51